Sunday, August 25, 2013

How Being a Preschool Teacher is Like Being a Nightclub Bouncer

After twelve years of teaching preschool and spending just as much time carousing in local clubs and watering holes I have come to the conclusion that classroom teachers and bouncers pretty much do the same job.
1. You have clean up other people's bodily fluids.

2. People projectile vomit on you.

3. You have to wait around after closing time for some twerp who needs a ride home.

4. Unruly patrons lob chairs at you --and blocks and giraffes.

5. You constantly have to break up fights.

6. You suffer an acute case of earworm from listening to the same song over and over and over again. <<The Wheels on the Bus anyone?

7. You witness some embarrassing dance moves whether it be Macarena or Hokey Pokey.

8. You are confronted by disgruntled customers. <<I'll take a slurring drunk over a pissed off parent any day!

9. You must constantly remind people of the rules. OVER and Over and Over and OVER and OVER again. 

10. You are constantly on your feet, physically exhausted, and responsible for keeping everyone safe while getting paid a measly salary.


Mamarific said...

Hilarious! Can't wait to share with my preschool teacher friends :)

Jennifer said...

Love this. And it is so true. Also, I could never be a pre-k teacher or a bouncer.

Fritter said...

As someone who once bartended in a rather seedy place- I agree with you!

Robbie K said...

Thanks and happy to have it shared!

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

LOL. That is a great analogy. So true!

Tamara Camera said...

I agree! I'm not a teacher but my daughter goes to a cooperative preschool and I've had to be a guest teacher.

AiringMyLaundry said...

Ha! Hilarious.

I could not deal with the vomit. I tend to throw up myself when someone else vomits.

Unknown said...

Very cute!

Michelle Bellomy said...

Amen, sister, been teaching Pre-School for a long time and it couldn't be more accurate! Gonna share with my PS teammates!! Maybe over a glass of wine after work....also a similarity :-) You need a stiff drink when your "shift" is over!!

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Shailaja V said...

Oh wow! I laughed so hard! This post made my day!!