NaBloPoMo Drop Out

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I had them when I signed up for NaBloPoMo. The good intentions not the paved road.

But then I had a girl's weekend and was completely unplugged.

My laptop is not functioning.

This means I have to use the old fashioned desktop which is in the guest room which is being occupied by guests.

There's a house showing today, a field trip to chaperone. A spin class to attend. Children to be fed, bathed and homework to be supervised. Another weekend away. Two birthday parties to plan.

I'm going to have to throw in the towel. Drop out. Abandon. Forsake. Withdraw. Hang it up. Relinquish. Forgo. Surrender. Vacate.

I am abandoning NaBloPoMo at least in the official sense. I will still try to write my ass off. But I cannot commit to publishing every single day.

Maybe next time?

Friends

I have these friends. Fantastic. Amazing. Thoughtful. Generous. FRIENDS.

They make me laugh, lift me up, keep me grounded.

There are eight of us all together. My relationship began with some of them when I was 17. Others I met a few years later...when we were 20 and oh so mature.

We're lifers. If I ever write a book it would be about us. And yet right now I can't even find the words to say what these girls mean to me.

We live in 4 different states and 1 abroad right now. We go months and even years without seeing each other. But I could pick up the phone, send out an email or text and they would be here for me. In whatever way I need them they would be here. We have proven that to each other time and time again. We are a powerful group.

It seems that all of our lives have been turned upside down lately. Major life events kind of upside down. A few of us managed to gather this past weekend and it was EXACTLY what we needed. Wine flowed freely, we did some crafting, rehashed old stories, discussed our current lives-struggles and victories, and laughed until our sides hurt.

I am blessed to have these girls in my life.

How do you stay connected with long distance friends?

Saturday Seven

Things you won't find me tweeting/blogging about (unless I am lamenting about how much the rest of the world is talking about them)

-Politics

-The Bachelor

-Zombies...I just don't understand the obsession

- Celebrities in general...I can barely pay attention to the details of my own life how can I be expected to know what is going on in someone else's?

-Twilight 

-Vampires

-Harry Potter

Avoidance Tactics

After dropping off the kids at school (Was I still in pj pants? No Comment) I was thrilled to receive a text request for a house showing-tomorrow evening.

YES I text back in all caps (because if it's not all caps they call you which means talking to a living, breathing human).

I look at my living room which has become headquarters for Project Organization 2012. I have two of these

a massive pile of important papers, enough art supplies to stock Michael's, my newly acquired Dymo Label Maker, and a random assortment of other crap  random items I have deemed essential for survival. The vaccuum cleaner is still plugged in (yes it has been there for three days...you got a problem with that?) ready to suck up any renegade white pine needles I may find. A mammoth cardboard box overflows with gifts from Christmas at my parents..waiting patiently to be unpacked and put away.

 My kitchen table has transformed into a Playdoh Mega Fun Factory command post.

 Two Rescue Forces helicopters use the coffee table as their launching pad. John Deere tractors, Caterpillar front end loaders and dump trucks stake claim to any remaining floor space as two little boys start their "work day."

And don't even get me started on the rest of the house.

So rather than ACTUALLY take steps to prepare for previously mentioned house showing tomorrow I will provide you with a list of things to do in order to avoid cleaning and staging the house.

1. Tweet about it. Ask for cleaning fairies.

2. Call and see if little boy down the street can come over to play because it is so EASY to clean and organize with two demanding tornadoes  calm, independent children shadowing you.

3. Cyber stalk electric company to see if current bill has been posted.

4. Tweet your shock at electric bill increasing by $30.

5. Flip through rec center catalog and circle activities that you and children fantasize about doing.

6. Get out your spiffy new old school calender (Thank you Barnes & Noble) and consult as you consider enrollment in various activities.

7. Spend 10 minutes looking for images of your rad calender to post on blog. Unsuccessful.

8. Text Big Yankee about house showing "I don't know how I will get it all done!"

9. Check Facebook to see if your MIL has responded to your message so you can plan for their arrival accordingly.

10. Go to realtor.com and greedily devour house porn where you will be moving. 

11. Check dryer and dump clothes on the only made bed in the house. Vow to return in 5 minutes to fold and put them away.

12. Intervene before all hell breaks loose between 2 little boys. Send them downstairs to make a fort out of the sofa cushions because you are a glutton for punishment.

13. Check Facebook so you can get your recommended daily allowance of annoyance.

14. Write a blog post about how to avoid getting your house ready for a showing.

It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time

I was romping around the internet playground after the holidays when I came across BlogHer's NaBloPoMo on January 2. I read the information and thought it would be an excellent opportunity to write more and possibly be read more. Past participants were raving about their experience so what did I have to lose?

Clearly I was high on holiday fumes because I joined instantly. Seriously, I did it without a moment of hesitation. Did I bother to look at my schedule and see what else was going on in my life? No, I most certainly didn't. Did I check out my drafts to see if I had any publish -worthy gems ready to go? No, I most certainly did not. Did I jot down a list to see if i even had thirty possible posts? That would be a BIG. FAT. HAIRY. NO.

And yet here I am ten days in and still swimming.

I won't lie, I am a little worried how I will make it work. My inlaw's will be here for a week, I have a girls weekend away (yeefreakinghaw!), multiple 5th birthday parties to plan, opening day for Brownie Cookie Sales is just around the corner. I have to keep the house immaculate and be ready for a showing at the drop of a hat. I have to feed the kids. I have to bathe them. I have to keep them alive and flourishing as a solo parent until further notice.

If anything, this experience will force me to become a bit more organized. I will have to plan and write ahead and schedule posts to be published. Wish me luck!

What are you learning/did you learn from NaBloPoMo?

Desperately Seeking Sleep

Sleep

I am in such desperate need of it and yet it continues to evade me. It has been a week now and I am starting to  beyond desperate. With three sleep challenged monkeys I have probably only slept thru the night a handful of times over the last 10 years but I usually manage to patch together a decent night's sleep. Luckily, I can coerce StinkBug into a nap once a week and you can be damn sure I join him! By nature (and unemployment) I am a night owl but by the time Friday rolls around I usually fall into bed exhausted by the time 11 o'clock rolls around.

It all started over the holidays. Between Big Yankee's visit and the kids's being out of school we just did whatever the hell we wanted. Since the monkeys were staying up later this meant we HAD to stay up later  if we wanted any chance of time alone. Seeing as we have have been separated by 1231 miles since August we were desperate for time together...alone. No more details or images necessary I assume? With another parent at home I had many opportunities to sleep late. I may or may not have slept until noon on more than one occasion.

The monkey's went back to school last week so regular routines and normal bedtimes are happening once again...for them. My body and brain however, are rebelling with all their might. I do my standard evening routine and still I lie awake at night...tossing and turning and becoming increasingly agitated by the minute. I have been operating on 5-6 hours of intermittent sleep for the past 8 days. I am cranky, impatient, groggy, and drinking too much caffeine to name a few.

So what can I do? My options are limited....as the only adult here I can't go to bed until they do. We barely make bedtime as it is so pushing their's earlier won't help. In fact, it would likely backfire as things would be more rushed and increase the likelihood of meltdowns-both theirs and mine. I managed a nap once this week but trying for more than that isn't very realistic. I can't help but think the naps could be screwing up my nighttime sleep even more. 

I have resorted to taking Benadryl twice now in the past week. Though I wake up a bit foggy it does work it's magic but I don't want to rely on it. There was a time last year I was taking OTC sleep meds 5 to 6 nights a week in order to get some zzz's. My doctor was aware of it and assured me it was fine but when I got to the point where I absolutely could not fall asleep without it that was my wake up call. Luckily some things in my life changed a bit and over time I was able to wean myself of sleep meds completely. While I NEED sleep I am afraid it would be a slippery slope.

How much sleep do you get a night? What do you do when you can't fall asleep?

Junk In My Trunk

Einstein and Peanut are at a sleepover tonight which means StinkBug and I are left to our own devices on a Friday evening. This boy knows how to have a good time -eating spicy chips aka these:

while sitting on the big bed (mine) and having a Team Umi Zoomi marathon.

Is anyone else a bit concerned that two shape obsessed kids and a robot are going to rescue some kid's dad trapped in a subway train near the cake store? What kind of coward risks missing his kid's birthday party because he can't man up and find his own way?

Needless to say I must find ways to amuse myself while remaining in the room per StinkBug's request demand. My aging eyes are too tired to try to read or do VERY. IMPORTANT.THINGS. on the laptop so I found myself rummaging through some of the many junk drawers.

Among the random items I found:

*Christmas present for Big Yankee I ordered in early November that was nowhere to be found when he was here for Christmas (guess who will be going to the post office tomorrow?)

*Wii Sports dvd that Stinkbug has been politely requesting interrogating us about for several weeks

*Target gift card that Peanut received for her birthday....in July

*Postcards and a necklace still in the gift shop bag bought in New Mexico (also in July) during the Massive Road trip of 2011

*One of those obnoxious flower pens that may or may not have been hijacked from my previous employer

*Copy of one of the monkey's  birth certificates

Confession time: What is in your junk drawers?

Brutally Good

Today was brutal. Things that should have been quick and simple turned ugly and complicated. It would be easy to list all of the the roadblocks thrown my way today and complain about everything that sucked. I think I may have cornered the market of the woe is me post though. Instead I bring you the good stuff and reflect on how lucky I really am.

1. My friend took 2 big kids to school this morning. This saved me the hassle of installing 2 cars eats and loading up 3 kids 4 and under.

2. I was able to help out a friend who was in a bind and had no childcare. She was able to sub today and earn much needed $ for her family. Stinkbug was able to spend the day with friends.

3. Another friend came to my rescue and watched the kiddos while I went to municipal court. She did this despite the fact that she is still in major pain from oral surgery and hasn't even been able to go to work the last 2 days.

4. We had a house showing tonight! The more people that look the more likely we will find a buyer.

5. I paid off 2 store credit cards today!

6. Another friend texted to invite 2 Bigs for a sleepover tomorrow. Having only one child home with me is a vacation..

7. I was involved in something very important for a life long friend.

8. Kids and I went to dinner @ Wendy's (we are nothing if not fancy!) during house showing. It was drama free and enjoyable!

9. I am staying on track with my NaBloPoMo and writing every day!

What little things went right for you today?

Realistic

I am surrounded by goal oriented people. Everywhere I turn people are posting what they will accomplish this year ...not that there's anything wrong with that. << Thank you Seinfeld.

I read the lists with interest and nod my head in agreement..... mmhmm yeah I want to read 25 books this year, yeah weight training is a great idea, I am sooo gonna learn something new in 2012, couch to 5k is inspiring.

SCREEEEEEEECH! 

Better bring those thoughts to a halt and banish them pronto! 

2010 was a challenging year that ended on a heartbreaking note. It couldn't end fast enough. Then 2011 arrived and while I can't say I had high hopes, I did think things would improve. 

What'd that get me? 2011 promptly chewed me up, spit me out and kicked my ass to the curb. And that was just the beginning.

So this year I am neither optimistic nor pessimistic. 

I am REALISTIC.

I will BE. ENOUGH. to get through the year.

Strong enough to handle the struggles.

Patient enough to await the changes.

Joyous enough to enjoy the moments-big and small.

Forgiving enough to turn the other cheek.

Courageous enough to take on some challenges.

Honest enough to accept myself and others for who we are.

And that is enough for 2012.