Sunday, February 5, 2012


I LOVE Sundays because by the end of the weekend a five minute brain dump is EXACTLY what I need. Warning that this one will probably be bit longer.

Today’s Writing Prompt: Write about something that you unexpectedly had a hard time saying goodbye to.

We began our fractured family tale life in October 2010. Big Yankee hated, despised, loathed, detested his job and had tried unsuccessfully to find something else here. There was an opportunity for him 2 hours south, in the university town where my parents live...where I went to high school and eventually graduated from college. With only a few days notice he and StinkBug relocated. Initially he loved it and we made plans to move our family there. This never happened. Long story short I was never able to find a job worth moving for and he was laid off a few days before his birthday in April 2011.

As I went for visits this fall I often felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and disappointment. I was mourning the loss of a life we never really lived. I wondered where our house would have been, where I might have worked. I ached for the family dinners we didn't get to have at my parents house, for the school programs they didn't get to attend, tailgates and football games we would never go to. My BFF was going through MAJOR stuff. I was there for her as best I could be from afar. But if  life had worked out like we thought I would have been THERE for her...beside her. I could have driven her to appointments, picked her girls up from school, bought her groceries, scrubbed her toilets.

It was bizarre to be sucker punched by sadness each time I drove into town through most of the fall and winter months. I couldn't let go of the life I thought we were going to be living. A move that I never fully embraced...perhaps I sensed it wasn't meant to be.


The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I was try to tell myself there is something better for us around the corner when things like that happen. Sometimes it is just a really long corner. I hope you get around your corner soon!

all.things.fadra said...

I really understand this. We've been waiting to move for over a year. I started with gusto and dreams of a life and a house. And then it felt like we would never move and houses were sold. Then I started to feel like it would never really happen. I was always saying "if" we move instead of "when" we move. I don't know how I feel at all but I'm just trying to take it moment by moment.