I recently

Here are some math word problems inspired by our real life road trip:

1. If you take 3 portable dvd players and you have 3 kids but only 2 pair of compatible headphones, 1 functioning car charger and 876 movies how many times will the kids watch The Pacifier?

2. When you have driven less than 1/4 mile away from your house and your daughter ask "Are we there yet?" everyone will laugh hysterically. When she retells the story 1743 times during the remaining 3000 mile road trip how long will it take Momma to go BSC (bat $hit crazy!)?

3. When your check engine light comes on in Denver, Colorado and you have 12 hours left to drive on a Sunday and there are no "mechanic on duty" signs how many times do you panic about breaking down on the side of the highway with your 3 children, 1 mother in law and 3 portable dvd players?

4. How many times will your kids rock out to Run Run Away by Slade? How many times will your children/MIL ask "who sings this song" before you text your BFF and song guru to get the final answer?

5. What is the probability that there will be a freak hail and snow storm during your driving shift that forces you to slow down to 30 mph on the highway and how long can you white knuckle it before you lose all feeling in your hands?

6. If there are 6 people traveling across country in a 2007 Nissan Quest what percentage of the time will ALL occupants be comfortable with the interior temperature of said vehicle?

7. If gas costs $3.75 a gallon and you stop 4 times on the first day how much money will you spend on beef jerky, postcards and pocket knives at a roadside travel stop?

8. A 5 year old, an 8 year old and a 10 year old climb into a mini van to spend 40 hours in the car round trip. How many times will the~~ threat ~~"I'll pull over if I have to" be uttered?

9. If you drive 20 hours in two days and you have read ALL of your books and discover that gas stations have dismal book selections how long until you go BSC?

10. If you haven't seen your husband in 78 days and you spend 40 hours driving 3000 miles in a 2007 Nissan Quest with a 5 year old, an 8 year old, a 10 year old and a mother in law what percentage of happy will you be when you see him for the first time?

## 38 comments:

LOVE this one. You are totally brilliant and this made me laugh so hard. Glad you got to see your hubby! Hope he drove home :)

okay wow. i love road trips and all but that all sounds kinda hellish, truth be told. :)

Hysterical. I bow to you. Best list of the bunch. I echo Stasha---pure genius. Erin

That's hilarious! I think I just might go crazy on that road trip! lol

ROFL, you deserve as many peanut butter eggs as you can stand for surviving that, with your sanity intact to boot.

OMG you deserve a whole bucket of peanut butter eggs!!!! Love your list!

I was told there'd be no math...

No really, this is something I'd steal, rework the numbers and then give my students the day before a long holiday.

God.

Bless.

You.

FORTY HOURS, OMG!

But you made it and all is right with the world now. Right?

I'm so happy you guys are together again!! I'm all weepy just typing this. Congrats!!

We just did half of that travel over spring break and I think I would have been the main character in our math problems...like how many times did mommy say she had to go to the bathroom or she was going to burst? How many Coke Zeros did mommy drink when daddy told her to stop drinking so much so we wouldn't have to stop so much? How many times did mommy ask how much longer even though she knows how much longer?

This is beyond funny, even though it includes numbers. And if you can make something that involves math funny...well you should be writing textbooks :)

After all of that I think you need a vacation alone!

Glad you enjoyed it! Hubby didn't get to come home but we will be moving there in less than 2 months!

Definitely a bit different than when my friend and I piled 5 deep in a red Beretta to head to South Padre Island!

Thanks for the compliment. I love hysterical!

There were times I was hanging onto my sanity by a thread but in the end it actually went much better than I thought it would!

Who said I maintained my sanity? :)

I can't wait to start receiving all these eggs ya'll feel I am entitled to! :)

lol @ there'd be no math.

Steal away..anything for the education of our youth :)

Thank you :)

We MADE it! Not quite together..just a visit but less than 2 months we will be reunited for good!

lol! I only drank 1 coke a day to minimize bathroom stops..course I nearly fainted from dehydration..not really! Glad you are back!

That is a brilliant idea.

I despise numbers and math...but they are the lead character in this!

Forget the Reese's PNB cup. You need a gold medal! I'm glad you survived to share you tale and give me a laugh!

Loved your list. I'm a closet math lover. :)

Stopped by after seeing you on Studio30 Plus.

This is a great list - and is EXACTLY why we (and our 5 kids) found a place to take our annual vacation that's 30 minutes away rather than 5 hours. Here's my question - why can't everyone get on the same $%*@ restroom break schedule??? WE JUST STOPPED! I'd say, "If you had to go you should have said so at the last rest area" and refuse to stop again, except I know I'll be the one cleaning up the "accident!" Thanks for the laugh!

Thanks for the gold medal..I will wear it proudly!

You LIKE math? I didn't know such ppl existed :)

I would love for everyone to have to pee at the same time!! I went every single time whether I had to go or not...

This is so funny! I love your math questions. I think I might make a pretty good grade on your math test. It all sounds so familiar! (Thanks for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny this week!)

OMG - I LOVE THIS! Pinning it to our Finding the Funny Pinterest board.

Those are awesome word problems. I would have lost my mind, I am pretty sure!!!

This was genius inspired by madness (or in this case BSC)! Math has NEVER made me giggle this hard! Ellen

Hilarious post, and so true on every point.

Wow! I'm impressed you survived to tell the tale! This was a seriously funny post!

Oh man, I would never even attempt such a trip! Wow - peanut butter eggs all around!

We do a similar trip every summer. I feel ya, AND I wish I could write it as funny as you did!

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