My New Best Friend

After a hot date with Big Yankee, I was anxious to get home to finish one of the many projects organize my Pinterst boards and bask in the sweet glory of my freedom, whilst he finished up a few things at work.

Wasting no time, I stripped off my grown up clothes, trading them in for polka dot boxer shorts and my favorite oversize gray v-neck t-shirt sans over the shoulder boulder holder. In the midst of reading my Twitter stream the doorbell rang.


I was shocked, but still a bit buzzed from my one beer dinner with Tall, Dark and Handsome. It's possible I leaped out of my chair and flew across the room, propelled by my glittery fairy wings. It is so possible!

She stood in capri pants and running shoes, quickly introducing herself as the daughter of our across the street neighbor. Her smile was welcoming and she initiated the first conversation I've had outside of work or my over eager chats with the Old Navy check out girl. I reeked of desperation. Of that I am sure.

Did I know the rear light in my mini van was still on and did I mind if she tried to catch an escaped kitten who was seeking refuge in our front bushes?

I offered  a can of tuna because that's the extend of my cat knowledge and bolted to my closet, desperately searching for the bra I had flung off so carelessly just minutes before. It was nowhere to be found and since I didn't want to keep her waiting I snatched my hot pink, sweat scented tit sling off the floor and shimmied into it.

While she Macguyvered to capture the kitten I restrained myself from whipping out my high school yearbooks, wedding video, and family heirlooms.  

I may have been slightly overzealous in our conversation, but I was overjoyed to be communicating with a human being outside of work....or Old Navy for that matter. 


Of course we will be best friends. We have many things in common. She has three kids and I have three kids. She lives in a house and I live in a house. She inhales oxygen and so do I. She is a cat person and my pantry is stocked with albacore tuna. We're soul mates. Obviously.


I did invite  beg her to stop by next week when my kids return from Grandparent Island so everyone can meet their new best friends. 


And if she doesn't it's fine because I know where she lives. 


I have another can of tuna and I'm not afraid to use it.