Sunday, October 7, 2012

Ten Compliments

Stasha is fabulously creative and the master of Monday Listicles. I am in awe of her photography skills and she has fantastic taste in boots. She is a wonderful writer who makes me think and laugh. This week's topic is COMPLIMENTS.

After thirteen glorious years of marriage my hunky husband, Big Yankee, only wishes he could say these compliments to me out loud.


- I love the way you let the mail and kid's school papers clutter up the kitchen counter and then somehow it's my fault when you can't find shit.

- I love how you manage to fill your mini van with broken pretzels, empty coke bottles, dirty socks, hardened English muffins and the smell of despair.

- The way you let the sink fill up with dirty dishes so I can spend quality time with the dishwasher is extremely thoughtful and selfless. I only wish you would do it more often.

- I love that you leave your gnarly long curly hair tangled up in the shower drain. And the way you "pretend" you forgot to clean it out? It's so damn endearing. Really.

- Sweetie, I just love it when you piss and moan about something/someone for hours on end. The way you won't let it go is positively enchanting.

- You know that thing you do when I try to teach you something about using the tv remote/computer? The way you ignore me and offer up excuses? Keep doing it. It's not the least bit frustrating.

- You have perfected the art of losing important stuff. The garage door opener, phone and debit cards come to mind.

- When I find you sitting on the sofa in your oversize pink sock monkey pajama pants, cheese dripping off your chin, tortilla chip crumbs clinging to your lips and I think what the hell happened to the hottie I met at the bar what did I do to deserve her?

- Your total lack of interest in all things football is adorable. Stomping around, heavy sighs and "how much longer until the game ends" said through your gritted teeth adds to the magic of our love.

- I love the way you respond to a suggestion I make. The strength with which you slam down the knife, throw the onion at me and calmly shout "you cut the damn onion" is utterly captivating.


***This post received the Big Yankee Seal of Disapproval Approval.

45 comments:

Cocalores said...

Ha ha! Yes, at the beginning of a relationship, these compliments might really come up, but later on? Uh-um. So funny!

Stasha said...

Well at least your hunky man keeps them in your imagination. Mine told me the other day when I asked if I can borrow his running tights that they would never fit me. Not cause they might be too big either...
Also we seem to have a lot in common :)

Brandee said...

Ahahahaha! Your list is hilarious. Plus, I am glad to know that a) he keeps those thoughts to himself, and b) that my house is not the only one with school, stuff piled on the counter.

Wayne W Smith said...

As a guy, I was rolling on the floor laughing with this post. It was an all timer for me.

Stacie @ Snaps and Bits said...

Hilarious! Around here, it's the hubs that creates those messes and then can't find stuff...

Kim@Co-Pilot Mom said...

So funny! I am thinking that my wonderful husband may think the some of the same things from time to time, but like yours, he has grace not to say them out loud. :)

Stacey said...

It's so nice that our spouses love us in spite of our craziness. Of course, we have to put up with them when they are sick, so I think it's an even trade. Great list!

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

This was so funny! You took this week's list and rocked it. I loved the smell of "despair." I've been wondering what that odor was floating around my car.

Ellen

Bridget said...

Bahahaha!! This list made my morning. Seriously!

Tara said...

LOL!!! Laughing so hard!! Here's one from my husband:

- I love the way that you use every dish in the house when trying to make a simple dish, such as hot dogs and Kraft Mac and Cheese. It is the perfect ending to my long day of manual labor to come home and clean up the kitchen while you sit and watch TV. You're talent enchants me every evening!

Diane said...

This is hilarious! I have no doubt that my husband could make a similar list about me. :D

@dkotucker said...

Soooooo funny! Your list cracks me up. Absolutely perfect! =D

Empty Nester said...

What a great list! Yours is my absolute favorite of the day!

Jennifer A. Hall said...

Oh most excellent! LOL

Kate said...

OMG, these are hilarious! I'm right with you on the hair in the drain and the football - although I usually just leave the room and work on my blog/writing while he's left to watch football with three young children.

Rachee Fagg said...

Hahahahahahahaha!
You made me laugh out loud literally!
Love this list!
-r

Whoa! Susannah (Formerly Write, Rinse, Repeat) said...

Love this!!!!
Hate football.

Jackie said...

This is fabulous Robbie, but seriously how can you hate football?

Robbie K said...

Thanks :)

Robbie K said...

lol @ runnign tights. So it sounds like we would make good roomies? I actually let DH read before I hit publish (which I NEVER EVER do) and I thought he would laugh hysterically. He was amused but also said he was glad I realized these things.???

Robbie K said...

Thanks! It was fun to write from his perspective but now he knows I know what a PITA I am :) Counters are clutter magnets.

Robbie K said...

Thanks-that means a lot coming from you Sir :)

Robbie K said...

Thanks. So I guess you can pass on some of these compliments to your husband? Let me know how that works for you :)

Robbie K said...

Thank you. It was fun and easy (maybe a little to easy?) to write. I guess we should be glad they know when to keep their thoughts to themselves-at least sometimes.

Robbie K said...

oh yes...definitely an even trade. Between them being sick and clipping their toenails.

Robbie K said...

Thank you for that is a fantastic compliment from one half of the funny ladies. If you find a Febreeze scent that masks despair let me know!

Robbie K said...

aww thanks for the compliment about compliments. Was it f,f,f, funny?

Robbie K said...

that is hysterical!!! I feel a new meme being brought to life.

Robbie K said...

Thank you. Lucky for them, the husbands are too smart too say this stuff out loud.

Robbie K said...

Thank you thank you!

Robbie K said...

You are making me blush. Thanks and I'm glad you found it highly amusing.

Robbie K said...

Happy to have amused you.

Robbie K said...

Thanks :)
I usually leave the room--or the house until the game is over.

Robbie K said...

Thank you. I aim to entertain.

Robbie K said...

Thanks. I don't understand football so I just don't like it. College basketballis a different story.

Jennifer Gills said...

The smell of despair in your car?! Robbie this post cracked me up!! Let's get together and complain about football sometime, ok?

AudreyN said...

Bahahaha! These are great!

Robbie K said...

Thanks! Glad I am not the only anti-footballer wife.

Robbie K said...

Thanks! You name the time and place and i'm there to complain.

Robbie K said...

thankyouverymuch.

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

What a fun take on this list!

The first one...so totally my parents! I remember my dad griping as we all cleaned that if my mom would pick up her own "crap" it wouldn't be messy!

Jill said...

Now that was seriously funny! The visual of the cheese dripping and tortilla chips stuck to your lips literally had me LOLing. Great listicle!

Robbie K said...

Thanks! I'm afraid Big Yankee has seen my cheese covered chin more often than he cares to remember :)

Robbie K said...

Thanks:)
It was fun to write.

I go in spurts of being anti-clutter and organized to the opposite.

Sanstrousers said...

Hey, at least you throw the onion and not the knife!