Monday, November 18, 2013

Burnt

When you are a not yet twenty one year old going to college in Missouri you have two REAL choices during Spring Break. Go north for skiing, or south for beaches. 

It was March of 1991 and through much, detailed very little haphazard planning a group of us girls decided to head to Padre Island-land of beaches and booze. Somehow we rented a condo with a small kitchen-which in reality was a hotel room with a stove burner. This was pre-Orbitz days and I have no recollection of how we even found the place. I purchased my first bikini and packed every mini skirt I ever owned.

One of my closest high schools friends, who was attending a small liberal arts college in Ohio, wanted a co-pilot to navigate across the Great Plains. I made arrangements to meet up with the girls in the Red Chevy Beretta en route to Texas in a few days. Liz made a pit stop in Missouri where we sat around various dorm rooms getting utterly sloshed and discussing the great mysteries of life.

We arrived in our Oklahoma home town the following day slightly hung-over but desperate to display our awesomeness for having "gone away" to school. We were confidently superior to the ninety percent of our classmates who had stayed in state for college. 

After scooting a boot at the extremely popular country bar, where Coors Light flowed like the Rio Grande, we found ourselves at an after-party. Dean's double-wide trailer had been the site of many keggers the previous summer and we were drunk and cocky. Surrounded by in-staters, we longed to flaunt our fantasticness. 

We thought smoking some cigs was the best way to do this. And what better way to light a smoke than dangling it from my lips and leaning my drunk ass into a burner on the gas stove? 

Suddenly the smell of burnt hair filled the tiny seventies style yellow kitchen. We were in a bit of a panic and I was looking frantically for the source of the smell when one of the Wrangler wearing, skoal chewing cowboys pointed at me and drawled, "Yer hair is on fire."

And that my friends, is how my superiority went up in flames.






 

25 comments:

cynk said...

Oh my. How bad was the damage?

Jen and Tonic said...

SHUTUP! You know what's funny? I used to date a guy who lit cigarettes that way, and I always worried about him catching fire. He would always reassure me that that doesn't to anyone.

HE WAS WRONG.

Samantha Shanley said...

"Coors Light flowed like the Rio Grande..." love it!

psychochef said...

Ah, the super sexy smell of burnt hair, and just in time for your vacation!

I totally want to "scoot a boot".

Karen

Robbie K said...

@Karen the tshirts of that fabulous bar said proclaimed in the "scoot a boot sensation."

Robbie K said...

@Jen You need to look that guy up, call him & shout "YOU WERE WRONG!!"

TMW Hickman said...

My friend did that in high school when she was lighting a joint. She told everyone that she decided on bangs, but we all knew better.

Glad that it was only your pride hurting!

Calamity Rae said...

At least it wasn't your eyebrows!!! I've totally done this on more than one occasion. Always buzzed.(pot may or may not have been involved, too) I used to light my ciggys on an electric stove, too - when I was really desperate. It takes forever (when you really want a cig) and always burns the paper to the grill so that when you go to cook something, it smells really awful. To clarify: I have not done this in years! Anyway, I'm blathering. This was funny - thanks for the read.

Angela Ryan said...

Oh no! Too funny! Even though this ended badly for you, it still made me want to go the land of beaches and booze.

Robbie K said...

@Calamity Rae Actually there is a bit more to the story.....stay tuned.

Robbie K said...

@Angela the land of beaches and booze was quite a memorable vacation!

Robbie K said...

Hahaha about deciding on bangs :)

Bill Dameron said...

Nothing like a little burnt hair to bring you back to earth. Very funny post!

Robbie K said...

Thanks! Wish I could recall the story I told to my parents about my burnt hair..it must have been a doozy that they saw right through.

babygatesdown said...

I suspect it was also a pretty quickly sobering moment too. Funny now, but poor you. Hope you had most of your hair left.

Robbie K said...

Sobering moment indeed.

Natalie DeYoung said...

Great last line! And I found this especially funny, as my sister in law is at college in Missouri...

Robbie K said...

Thanks! Let me know where she decides to spend her spring break :)

Samantha Brinn Merel said...

On no, hope you were ok!

Gina said...

Oh Robbie! So sorry for your pre-break hair! This was hilarious because it reminded me of way too many spring break road trips (no money for plane tix back then). And my son was in Padre last march. Saw the pics. Yikes!!!

Humbling, for sure!

Christie Tate said...

I love padre for spring break. And boot scooting. I'd love to party with you sometime!

Robbie K said...

Yes we packed 5 girls and 7 days worth of luggage into a 2 door Chevy Berretta for a VERY long drive!

Robbie K said...

@Christi We would have a blast!

Marcy said...

Oh my gosh, so funny. You really captured that "feeling superior" vibe of young people who are doing something stupid. I've lost some bangs that way myself.

Courtenay Baker said...

Woo! You totally know how to party! And I am glad that you are OK, because burning hair is awfully close to burning skin and really bad injury. Sorry -- I am a worrier to my core.