Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I Worry

I worry that my mom will get pneumonia again.

And I worry it will be for the last time.

I worry that I don't know all her stories.

I worry that our marriage is not a good example for our children.

I worry that we will still be living in our rental six months from now-not because we want to but because it is our only option

I worry that we will still be paying off our student loans when we are sending our children to college.

I worry that something horrible will happen to those I love.

I worry that I cannot protect my children enough.

I worry that living as a fractured family for sixteen months has done permanent damage.

I worry that we expect too much from our kids.

And I worry that we don't expect enough of them.

I worry that I won't be able to find my way back to teaching.

And I worry that I will always feel the emptiness of that.

What do you worry about?


Fritter said...

Oh worry is my middle name. I worry about anything and everything under the sun. It has magnified since having kids.
One thing I try to tell myself- as someone told me long long ago that worry is one of the most futile of feelings. It does nothing. It helps no one. You are not 'doing' when you are worrying. It's wasted energy.
Sounds simple but to you and I- worriers- really understanding this simple statement is what will help us stop the worrying and just live every day like we haven't a care in the world. We can try.

Rara Saur said...

Powerfully honest. I worry about absolutely everything. :)

christina said...

oh mama. big hugs. I love the honesty in this.

deborah quinn said...

Much on this list resonates with me, too. I think all of us have our list of those things that are always whirling on the margins of our minds--the things that come howling at us in the middle of the night...

Meeshie said...

I worry that putting my family in debt to get another degree is selfish.

I worry that not getting a degree will leave me unable to support my child.

I worry that my body might never support another pregnancy.

I worry about... a lot. I worry about my family and all the things that go into that. I worry about the future of my child and a ton of things about my marriage.

We all worry, ya know?

Shailaja V said...

Hugs!!! You're not alone. I try not to worry too much, since it takes way too much out of me by the end of it. But I can relate to your worries.

Jen and Tonic said...

I worry about nearly everything. I worry that I'll die before I get a chance to "finish" therapy. I worry my blogging is pointless. I worry something will happen to my family. I worry I'll get fired. I worry about worrying so much.

Marta G said...

Honestly I worry about almost all the same things. I worry about money because of the crushing debt we're under and that we'll never get out. That I will still be paying student loans seems inevitable. That my marriage is a bad example is something I'm very worried about. A lot.

Sarah Knepper said...

I worry about many of the same things. You are not alone! Thank you for sharing your heart here. Visiting from Pour Your Heart Out!

Robbie K said...

Glad I have good company in the worldwide worriers!

Robbie K said...

Glad I have good company in the worldwide worriers!

Shell said...

If I let myself get started on all that I worry about, I'll never stop!