Survival

I don't know if you even noticed but I haven't been writing. 

At least not here. The writing in my head? Well that is on a constant loop.

Honestly I didn't realize how long it had been until I hit the "new post" button three seconds ago.

I'm just trying to survive. Some minutes, some hours it even seems manageable. And then I look at a photo or find the last Christmas card she wrote to me and I spiral. 

I've perfected the art of the gut-wrenching, soul-sucking, crying my eyes out silently while laying in the bottom bunk next to my sweet seven year old boy.

I had to rush out of an old fashioned soda fountain and candy store a few weeks ago. My daughter was eating a banana split. Mom loved banana splits.