With ninety posts in my drafts folder, you'd think I would be a NaBloPoMo fiend-chomping at the bit to hit publish and scheduling posts out the wahzoo. If only that were true. Well, the ninety half assed posts are true at least. Many posts are too painful to write. I cannot go there now. I spend so much of my energy going the opposite of THERE. If I go I might not be able to come back.
I excel at avoidance. It's my super power. Sometimes it serves me well. Other times...not so much. This morning the screams and cries echo through our house. People don't feel well. His nose is stopped up. He has a headache. Another determined that THEY WILL GO TO SCHOOL. The battle is on. It isn't me. I cannot fight this battle today. I can barely make it through the hours until my head hits the pillow again. The voices inside my head are the loudest of all. Fight or flight mode. I am a flier. I want to take off. I NEED to escape.To go somewhere thousands of miles from here. To quiet. To peace. Before I fall to pieces that cannot be put back together again.
I excel at avoidance. It's my super power. Sometimes it serves me well. Other times...not so much. This morning the screams and cries echo through our house. People don't feel well. His nose is stopped up. He has a headache. Another determined that THEY WILL GO TO SCHOOL. The battle is on. It isn't me. I cannot fight this battle today. I can barely make it through the hours until my head hits the pillow again. The voices inside my head are the loudest of all. Fight or flight mode. I am a flier. I want to take off. I NEED to escape.To go somewhere thousands of miles from here. To quiet. To peace. Before I fall to pieces that cannot be put back together again.
2 comments:
I haven't done a writing challenge in a long time. Most of my drafts are things that require better planning. For example, I went on a bike trip, blogged about it, but didn't go into detail about what I packed (and think its important for planning). So I have a draft of what I packed, but plan on polishing and publishing next year before the trip. (its an annual thing).
I have some drafts that are VERY close to publishable and others that are a random sentence or two that need tons more work. Good idea about planning ahead for next year.
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