Sunday, January 18, 2015

Stream of Consciousness: Tired

I am tired. I didn't sleep well last night with Big Yankee gone for work. I stayed up too late reading thinking it would be easier to fall asleep if I was exhausted. I cry most when I am falling asleep. And when I am in the car alone. And when I am in the shower. Today my tears don't stop but I have also mastered the art of hiding them. We are restless. Four trapped inside today. Snow still covers the grass and fields but roads are a slushy nightmare now. I am apprehensive to go out much. Only if I have to. Scared to re-injure my ankle. Five and a half weeks of a walking boot and no driving was quite hellish at times. Tomorrow is another day of no school or work. Another day to get on each other's nerves. Five minutes is not a very long time--except when it is. When your brain is a jumbled mess of thoughts, ideas and sadness and you don't know how to put it out there. So your fingers dance on the keyboard as the time ticks away and you wait anxiously for the oven timer to signal the end. 


5 comments:

Sisters from Another Mister said...

You need to stock up on movies, popcorn ... and wine.

Kendra Frampton said...

You need movies and books to keep you busy. And don't think about the negative, focus on the positive. There will be school and work tomorrow!

all.things.fadra said...

In recent years, I've come to feel trapped in the winter time. Any time there is any precipitation, I feel like I'm sequestered to my house. Only recently have I realized that I live in an area that is *mostly* equipped to handle it and that I'm the one making myself feel trapped. Make small goals and overcome them - whether it's baking cookies or running out to the store. And then the other obstacles won't feel as overwhelming.

Kenya G. Johnson @ KenyaGJohnson.com said...

Excellent writing for your SOC. I just found out it was back and i was glad to see a familiar face. Hope to see you next week. Hope you get out of the winter blues soon or at least get a bit of a warm from if there's such a thing for you in January.

Jennifer Hall said...

Hey Robbie, I've been thinking about you...see you haven't blogged in ages. Would love to connect. Would you email me at jenannhallblog@gmail.com or find me on Facebook? https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.hall.345