Cranky

Tuesday morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...actually I didn't even wake up in my bed. Before you get any ideas about happy hours, frat parties and walks of shame I will assure you that I did wake up in my own house..in the bottom bunk with Stinkbug. Yeah it is just as comfortable as it sounds.

I sought refuge there from the shrill beep of the low battery in the smoke alarm that hangs at the highest point of my bedroom ceiling. I would love to change it. I REALLY  REALLY Very much would like to change the damn thing. The problem is my bedroom ceilings are 15 1500 feet tall and I have a very intense fear of heights, what the professionals call Acrophobia.

Times like these Big Yankee, all 6 feet 5 inches of him, comes in very handy. Since he can't change a battery from 1231 miles away I had to create plan B. This consisted of me asking a slightly taller friend for assistance. We flexed our lady muscles (not THOSE lady muscles) and hauled in the 400 pound ladder. We also had to move furniture..massive furniture to even get the ladder in position. While I clung to the ladder for dear life for support she slowly climbed up each rung. She stumbled once and I was ready to be done. At some point it has to stop beeping right? Umm no. No it does not ever have to stop beeping. She did manage to reach it but the damn thing was stuck shut. It was catching on something so we had Einstein fetch a Phillips screwdriver. That didn't work out so well. It broke off a tiny piece o plastic but didn't even budge. So that was the end of that.

I fell asleep with the tv on to drown out the shrill beep. Oh who am I kidding, I fall asleep with the tv on every night. It eventually stopped around 1 am and was silent until Sunday night. And then the beeping resumed...EVERY. TWO. MINUTES. I tried sleeping with a pillow over my head but the pitch is just high enough to startle me awake EVERY. TWO. MINUTES.

I cannot be sleep deprived until the next tall person visits my house. I can't share the bottom bunk with wiggly StinkBug either. Dad is two hours away and shouldn't be climbing ladders. What's a chicken shit like me suppose to do?