Friday, March 2, 2012

How to Piss Off a Preschool Teacher

1. Corner her at drop off and pick up. Ask intense questions that require very detailed answers. Ignore her requests to set up a conference. Follow her around the room verbally assaulting her. Sit down with the kids at circle time and raise your hand to ask even more questions.

2. Schedule a parent teacher conference. Preferably during a time that is outside of her normal working hours so that she has to solve the logistical nightmare of getting her OWN children picked up from school/childcare/fed/to various activities. Don't show. Don't call. When you drop your kid off the next morning and she asks you about it say "huh? oh yeah I forgot/was taking a nap/didn't want to waste time."

3. Ignore the classroom rule and allow your kid to bring things to school...favorite toys, electronic gizmos. The more annoying the better. When it is lost or broken go beserk and blame the teacher.

4. Don't discuss any concerns with the teacher. Go straight to her supervisor. Exaggerate everything. Demand your child be placed in another class. Pout and grumble the rest of the year when that doesn't happen.

5. Show up late. Don't apologize or even acknowledge your lateness. Don't hug your kid because your nails are still wet and creepy.




6. Make sure your kid doesn't have an extra change of clothes. This is especially important if your child is potty training. Complain about the tacky, ill fitting school issued clothes your kid is wearing when you pick him up. NEVER EVER wash them and return them as requested.

7. No matter what- DO NOT share any information about your home life (Daddy moved out/Grandma moved in/dog died) that might effect your child. Be VERY secretive. Ignore the family-school partnership concept.

8. Expect the teacher to do EVERYTHING for your four year old..put on his shoes, wipe his butt, cut up his food, spoon feed him.

9. ALWAYS ALWAYS be on the phone when you pick up/drop off your child. Talk loudly and say inappropriate words that the kids will repeat at home and say they learned at school.

10. Sign up to bring essential items for the class party. Ignore numerous reminders. At drop off on party day say you will run to the store and bring it right back. NEVER SHOW UP forcing the teacher to spend her own money and her lunch hour running to buy items you PROMISED to bring.

11. Show NO interest in your child. Be impatient and critical, cold and heartless. Throw away her fantastic bubble painting right in front of her and get angry when she cries about it.

12. Do NOT show the teacher any respect. Frequently remind her that you don't think she is a "real teacher" because she doesn't work at an elementary school.

18 comments:

Barbara said...

Oh wow! Great post.

I win at preschool though....because I never do any of these things. ;)

Seriously....I send two changes of clothes. :)

Fritter said...

This is so sad. My son started preschool this year and even with two other little ones I would never in a billion years behave like such a jackass. Maybe it's the former hs teacher in me- but parents in general are greatly dissappointing. :(

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

It is a shame but I have seen so many of those behaviors when my girls were in Pre-K. Some parents are just oblivious and they are the ones who will probably live the long happy lives while the rest of us stress ourselves to death trying to make sure we are doing the right thing all of the time ;-)

Robbie K said...

Thanks and congrats on winning at preschool! :)

Robbie K said...

Sadly every single one of these happened at some point while I was teaching.

Robbie K said...

Exactly...you have the kind, respectful ppl trying to do the right thing and a group of crazies kicking up a shit storm.

Jennifer said...

Wow. Mine is in preschool now and based on the content of the parent newsletters we get every week, I would say all of these things go on there as well. I must admit- i am partially guilty of #11. Seriously, my daughter brings home a backpack full of paintings, drawings, crafts, etc, ever day. I always ooh and ahh... and set them on the counter. When she isn't looking, I throw them away. I've never seen so much artwork!

Robbie K said...

AS long as you don't throw them away in front of her it's all good!! There is no way to save everything they do..believe me I tried with child #1! It just breaks my heart when I see a parent wad up the paper right in front of their child and say "I don't want this mess in the car and we have enough crap already!"

Amy @ Counting My Kisses said...

Oh my goodness...what a great post. Do people seriously DO this sort of thing?! Craziness. Such a great blog~ I love your About Me as well. I can't whistle & I'm always misplacing my phone, it drives my husband crazy! :) Glad I'm in good company!! :)

Robbie K said...

Sadly I have encountered every single one of those things...and more. Of course there are a ton of fabulous, thoughtful parents out there as well! Maybe we were separated at birth..glad to be in your company too!

Mama Kat said...

As a home daycare provider this list is giving me hives. Oh my GOSH I've been in those shoes for a number of these and it's beyond frustrating. Some people are so disrespectful!

Robbie K said...

It's crazy isn't it! I think home daycare might be a little bit worse though! I HATED having to BEG ppl to pay on time so I could pay my own bills! Also I loved when they said "I have the day off but I'm bringing him anyways"..and it was always the ones I needed a break from!

CandGsMom said...

This was a great post! My son is in preschool now and I always worry that I'm going to be the crazy mom...but I don't do any of the things on that list so maybe I'm all set!! =)

Erin said...

OH MY GOODNESS! I would LOVE to post this on the webpage for my school! You have said it all. I LOVE this!!!

Robbie K said...

Glad you enjoyed it...many years of teaching preschool have led me to things I wish I could say to the parents.

Suburban Momma said...

GREAT POST! As a preschool teacher, I knot this mom. I get her every couple years.... YIKES!

pansies and sunflowers said...

This wonderful and so very true! I would add these:
Assume that any conflict between your child and another is ALWAYS the other child's fault and insist on talking about how horrible the other child is in front of other children and parents.
Do not read ANY newsletters, flyers, etc that are sent home, emailed, and posted. Insist that the teachers never tell you anything.
Have your child wear his/her nicest, newest outfits and then complain when they get paint on them.
Ignore the fact that teacher has stated many times that the class will go outside every day unless there is ice or a torrential downpour. Never bring your child with appropriate clothing for playing outside. When the other children have their snow clothes, look shocked and say, "I didn't think you'd be going out!" Then try to get the teachers to keep all of the children in instead of having the experience of playing in the snow.

Lillian Connelly said...

I want to ninja kick these parents.