These last few days have been rough. A roller coaster of parenting. No surprise as parenting is not for the weak. I was not cut out for single parenthood. I am not mentally and emotionally equipped to be the one and only 24/7/365. I hang on as long as I can but at Exactly 8:47 pm I am ready to clock out. I need SPACE. I need to be able to breathe. I need to NOT be needed. I feel like my eyes are going to pop out and my head is going to explode if I have to do One. More. Thing. Someone wants a drink of water, the other has just a "quick question" to ask. They are hot or cold. She wants a different radio station. His music isn't loud enough. He needs another pillow. Her nose is plugged up. I am suffocating...there's a million pound brick on my chest. I can't think straight. I have used up all my reserves and there are no reinforcements. I gasp for air, telling myself I can do this 5 more minutes, 10 more minutes. Just Keep swimming.
5 comments:
Oh, how I get this. But that feeling usually hits me long before 8:47pm so you're strong, mama!!
Unlike you being a single parent (hopefully not for much longer), I am smothered by having a "retired" (down-sized) husband who is around me 24/7/365 for the last 10 years or so! I'm sooo glad I found Flip Flop! :)
I can so relate. Just the other day I was saying that I am exhausted by needing to be someone's everything 24 hours a day (referring to my almost 2 year old and his current phase of must-have-mommy-every-minute). And I have a much easier row to hoe than you, so hats off!
As a single mum I know what those bricks feel like. You're right... just keep swimming. Eventually you'll hit an air pocket. At least for a bit.
Funny that you chose that line from Nemo. I say that to myself too when the days are bearing down on me. I have to admit, just picturing Dori and hearing Ellen DeGeneris in my head make me feel a bit happier. Just keep swimming! You can do this!
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