Elusive Naps & Empty Rolls

The roving pack of eight to ten year old girls finally fell asleep around midnight after me tromping down the stairs countless times to shush them and demand silence politely suggest they settle down. I eventually sat on the steps and shushed them till they all slept soundly.

I stayed up way too late on Twitter and Facebook  doing extremely important things on the computer while getting kicked by Stinkbug who was thrilled to have a slumber party with me.

Finally at 1 am I dozed off, only to be awoken at 2:45 and 3:51 and 5:19 by a screaming 5 year old. At 6:27 my cell phone started ringing...one of Einstein's friends was calling!

At 7:36 am, I staggered downstairs pleading with the girls to stop yelling. The same parents who had put their kid up to calling and asking if she could come to the party an hour early because her parents were going out...needed to be picked up an hour early. Since it's so convenient and not an imposition at all. No really. I beg you to bring your daughter early because I have NOTHING to do other than prepare for a slumber party. And pack for a cross country move.

We had a muffin picnic on the back deck and then I sent them outside to torture the neighbors enjoy the fresh air.

Finally the last of them was gone.

Peanut and Stinkbug climbed into my bed to watch tv. Eistein swarmed around like a vulture waiting for me to finish using MY LAPTOP so he could have a turn.

I grabbed a blanket and headed for Peanut's room.... and her twin bed---informing them I was going to attempt to take a nap. I didn't even get under the covers because of course I would be the one to have to make the bed and wth needs one more thing to do on Mother's Day?

I just laid down and was putting a pillow over my head to drown out the daily noise when my cell rang. After a brief conversation with Big Yankee, I was ready for some zzzs.

Just as I got settled Einstein NEEDED to play the piano. I didn't have the energy to get up and ask him to stop or to even yell to the other room or pound on the walls . I  knew it would eventually stop.

He played some beautiful music and I was just drifting off to sleep when Stinkbug came in to ask if he could eat his muffins...as if I am some kind of sadistic muffin denyer.

I was almost back to sleep again when Peanut comes barging in and wants to know if she can go downstairs and watch Netflix....as if my kids' need permission to go downstairs?

Nearing asleep again and I was jolted awake by a text from someone I don't know wishing me a happy Mother's Day.

 Minutes later Stinkbug walks in and asks "when are you gonna be done sleeping?"

Dozing. Dozing. Almost drooling. Someone asks if they can have a piece of birthday cake. As if I am a cake nazi?

Big Yankee calls and thinks I am of the boys. He innocently asks if I am still napping.

Hell no! I still haven't fallen asleep for more than 10 freaking minutes!

I lay there close to tears of exhaustian, willing myself to fall asleep. It's not happening.

Oh yeah, I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to the nighbor who was happy to send her kid to ring my door bell 3x in less than 2 hours. On Mother's Day. When she knows full well I am flying solo. As if I run a home for unattended children? Oh wait, maybe I do?

 I eventually give up  and call Big Yankee back but there's no answer. He sure as hell better not be napping!

I stumble to the bathroom in my sleep deprived state and didn't check the supplies.

Out. Of. Toilet. Paper.

Sitting there on the throne yelling "Can someone PLEASE bring me some toilet paper? PLEASE? It's Mother's Day ya'll!"

Peanut brought me a roll of toilet paper without complaining......so there's that.

Upon seeing me stumble out of the bathroom out StinkBug asks "so you didn't want to sleep anyore?"

Yeah kid. I didn't WANT to sleep anymore. That's it!