Monday, February 11, 2013

Oh No He DIDN'T


Dear Big Yankee,
I know we don't really DO Valentine's but on the off chance that you read this and opt to get me something to celebrate our love I'm going to save you some time and money. Thanks to Stasha's Listicles I've compiled a list of what NOT to get me this year. 

-conversation hearts- horrible chalky tasting tooth breaking evilness that I will chuck at your head if you have the nerve to gift me these.


                                                       

-cheesy stuffed animal. Sock monkeys are the only permissible stuffed gifts.

source

-dozen roses-I'm not a fan and I cringe at the $$ wasted. I much prefer some random flowers from the local Farmer's Market.

                                           3 Dozen Roses



- professional massage
The whole strangers not touching me would make this pretty miserable. I require a few drinks pre pedicure and I'm guessing I would have to get FUBAR for a massge. Let's just say this has potential to be a very horrible, awful gift.


-kindle, ebook or whatever you young people are reading on these days. I would be pissed and confused and wound't be able to work it. I want books whose pages I can turn.

-tattoo-speaks for itself

                                                     Amy Winehouse Tattoo

-granny panties


source
-jewelry-I don't wear much and what I do is sentimental so please don't bother.

-one way bus ticket

I managed nine so I'll call it a win.



18 comments:

in the coop said...

I have yet to see a woman who wants roses on Valentine's Day.
You are spot on with the conversation hearts. Those things are a tradition that just needs to die.

Fritter said...

I'm telling you. I swore that the e readers were the devil come home to roost. We are now a 2 kindle fire household. I LOVE the thing and have the kindle app on my phone. It's freedom in that wherever I am I am reading more these days- in fact in the past 6 months I have read more books than in the past 4 years!!! (but otherwise, I totally agree with your list :)

Kenya G. Johnson said...

i think I'd rather have the granny pannies than the butt diggers I have in my dresser drawer. They were gifted. I appreciate that he thought my butt was that small though. ;-)

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

The one way bus ticket I didn't see coming. Awesome! Erin

Paul Craig said...

great list, those granny panties are HUGE. didn't see 9 coming either. thanks for the laughs

Jessica B said...

It is funny that nobody seems to like roses as a gift anymore... flower shops might need to think about that. I agree too - I mean, I wouldn't turn them away, but I like so many other kinds of flowers better. Great list! :)

@dkotucker said...

Just found out last night that G did indeed buy me an e-book for Christmas after me saying FOREVER how I prefer "real" books too. Did I mention he kept it for himself? Yah. Jerk. :D

Stasha said...

Funny but I have issues with strangers touching me too so massage is a no no. Those sock monkeys are adorable.

Julia said...

Haha. Those granny panties are awesome. Happy Valentine's Day!

Robbie K said...

Those hearts are disgusting aren't they? I find for every holiday there is a candy I despise!

Robbie K said...

Everyone loves their kindles and I suppose someday I will cross over to the dark side too :) I always have a book in my purse or car so I always have something to read too.

Robbie K said...

hahahaha butt diggers! Thoughtfulness about a small butt goes a long way.....

Robbie K said...

glad you enjoyed it! I know someone who knows someone who was gifted a 1 way bus ticket by his girlfriend.

Robbie K said...

Thanks. I guess I am too frugal and not romantic enough to want someone to spend a boatload of $$ on flowers that will wither away and die. I was something I can KEEP..books, new running shoes.

Robbie K said...

haaha..now that is funny!

Robbie K said...

I thought the granny panties would be a big hit! :)

Robbie K said...

I've never had a massage but it sounds very unappealing and stressful to me. Who couldn't love sock monkeys on a bicycle built for two?

Robbie K said...

thanks you too!