Friday, March 7, 2014

Fractured Friday Forty-Nine


I recently read some great advice and if I had even the slightest idea where I saw it I would give full credit. I've resorted to Google herself and cannot find it. It's simple and perfect.

When things aren't normal, do normal things.

In the aftermath of caring for my mom during her final days and her death and planning the funeral even the most basic task seemed completely overwhelming at times. 

It was especially difficult when I got back home to my own family. I didn't know how to function. I'd spent the better part of six weeks administering liquid morphine, anxiously anticipating the daily visits from the hospice nurse, meeting with social workers and grief counselors, reminiscing, and trying desperately to soak up every single moment with Mom.

Time wasn't measured by day or night. The only schedule we adhered to was administering medications. There were days I didn't shower or eat. Times I was awake for thirty hours in a row. Nearly a week went by where I didn't set foot outside the front door.

I was NEVER alone. My brother, my sister, my dad and I. We were all there..some of us coming and going...others never leaving. 

Returning home was like being an alien on another planet. No hospital bed to adjust, no oxygen levels to monitor, no visits from hospice, no updates to give. No Mom to talk to. Being alone was strange and eerie and suffocating. Talking to people and being around others sucked away what little energy I had.

I'm trying desperately to do normal things and that means getting back to writing. I hope you'll hang around while I do.



Amazingness I read this week and want to share with you:

This is how you do it by Jessica Watson would have thrilled my mom who spent 29 years teaching a class of differently abled adults in Sunday School and Adult Basic Education classes. Special Olympics was near and dear to her heart and she spent years and years and years volunteering on a local and state level.


Motherhood. Is this all? by Cat Poland just spoke to my heart. Her writing is lovely, honest and thought provoking.

What are your favorite posts of the week?

7 comments:

Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly said...

Again my most heart-felt condolences for your loss, Robbie. I am glad you got to spend all that time with you mom in her last days. I hope you manage to adjust to your new normal life, soon. If you pretend normalcy long enough, it will become normal again. Hugs to you!

Robbie K said...

Thank you for your kind words. I am getting a little more use to this new life without her.

Tamara Camera said...

I read Jessica's post too - she really has a way, doesn't she!
Wishing you peaceful (if possible) adjustments to this new/old way of life. And many virtual hugs for your loss.
I think I told you that my very good friend's mom passed about a week ago and I really aim to be there for her without overwhelming her.

Robbie K said...

I love her writing. I'm sorry for your friends loss. I know getting texts and emails and FB messages from ppl really helped me. Actual face to face conversations were too much for me those first few days but my people circled the wagons.

AiringMyDirtyLaundry said...

I'm so sorry.

I will have to check out these posts that you mentioned.

karen said...

I am so sorry for your loss, my parents are aging and the thought of losing them scares me. I can't imagine your pain (HUGS). I think the plan of returning to normal life does help.

will have to check out those posts.

Lisa @ The Meaning of Me said...

So sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, Robbie. But what a blessing to have been with her in those last days - that's a gift.
I love the saying - when things aren't normal, do normal things. I can imagine that would get me through the strange times. I'm going to remember that!