Sunday, November 27, 2011

Tired of Pretending


I am tired of pretending it's ok. Tired of minimizing it. Living apart is sucking the life out of me. I can't stop to think about it because I probably won't get up again. Except for 2004 this is the first Thanksgiving in 16 years that I have spent apart from Big Yankee. It's his favorite holiday and he was missing. He was fortuante to be invited to several Turkey day events which I am sure he enjoyed but it wasn't the same. Brother in law didn't deep fry a turkey. I didn't make our chorizo and cornbread stuffing b/c while other ppl eat it he LOVES it. It's "our dish". I didn't make sweet potato casserole either. I know there are so many people with empty seats at the table this year...seats that will never be filled again. I hate feeling like I am feeling sorry for myself for this life we must live now.





This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post below.
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15 comments:

Good Girl Gone Green said...

I am so sorry to hear that you were away from Big Yankee on Thanksgiving! It must not be easy at all to live apart. Big hugs!

Lerner said...

It's so hard spending holidays away from people you want to see. Big hugs and keep your chin up at Christmas.

Jenn and Casey said...

Aww :( I'm so sorry you had to be apart!! Sending hugs your way.

Leah said...

Hi! Popping in from SOC Sunday. So sorry you had to spend the holiday apart. Living apart has got to be hard. Hang in there. :)

mjdresselbooks said...

My heart is sad for you. It's never easy being apart, but holidays make it worse. I hope you can find the holiday spirit somehow for the rest of the year.

Lis @ A Trucker Wife said...

Stopping in from SOC...

(((hugs)))

all.things.fadra said...

You know what? Thanksgiving meal doesn't have to be cooked just on Thanksgiving. I think you should plan your own private Thanksgiving next time you are together and make your delicious sounding stuffing and sweet potato casserole. It will make you both happy!

Rachel @ Totally Ovar It said...

I'm so sorry for your pain. Reading your SOC, I can feel it. Take care of you. Visiting from the SOC.

teritruly said...

I'm sorry you couldn't be together at Thanksgiving but I think Fadra had a great idea - the next time you are together have your own Thanksgiving meal! :)

Monika said...

Totally feeling your pain from this post - So, so hard being away from the people or person you love most during the holidays. Sending positive vibes that next year will be different. (((Virtual hugs)))

Kim @ Illusion of Sanity said...

HUGS to you, friend. I'm sorry your Thanksgiving wasn't all you wished it could be. :(

Elyse said...

:( Oh I am so sorry you had to be apart at Thanksgiving. It totally ruins a day/time. I hope you have time with eachother over Christmas.
Elyse

The Woven Moments said...

The absence of loved ones feels particularly heavy around the holidays. Here's hoping for a happy reunion in the near future!

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I spent one of my Thanksgivings in the hospital while I was on bedrest with Ash. It was so hard and painful to not be with those I loved. Do not feel badly about the way you feel. It just means that you love and miss your husband. In my book...that is a good thing. I hope you guys get that house sold soon and can be together in the same place and not just your hearts! xo

Shana said...

Having your hubby missing at Thanksgiving really stinks. We had my dad missing at Thanksgiving and it just wasn't the same. We decided that we are going to do a second, special Thanksgiving when my dad is home. Maybe you guys can do the same thing. Hugs to you!