Marriage is hard. Extremely hard.
It's not all pretty.
In fact, it can get pretty ugly at times.
I found this quote which pretty much sums it up:
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
~ Doug Larson
Big Yankee and I are on our 13th year of happily ever after. Yeah, lucky 13. Looking back over the years we've had some of the better and some of the worse. These last four years-they feel like someone trucked in an oversize load of worse and dumped it on us.
We are making it...barely at times. Struggling to communicate across thousands of miles through texts, phone calls and an occasional email. Trying to share the burdens that can't really be transported across time and space.
Both of us trying to give to the other when we are sucked bone dry. Both of us are scared shitless of the what ifs-what if our house doesn't sell? what if my unemployment runs out before we move? what if it happens again? what if? Wondering how much longer our family will survive this kind of life without breaking in two...or two thousand pieces.
And then I feel guilty and selfish for feeling this way. Separations are a way of life for military families. And they have the added stress of putting their lives on the line.