1. Big Yankee should accept my limitations in regards to maps and directions. When I call in a panic because I'm lost or can't get somewhere he will say "It's okay Sweetie. I know this stresses you out so I'll stay on the phone with you the entire time and tell you each thing step by step. I promise NEVER to say things such as North, South, East and West."
2. I strongly encourage him to surprise me by planning date nights...making reservations, letting me chose the movie, securing a babysitter.
3. He should ALWAYS ALWAYS take complete responsibility for clipping fingernails and toenails of all our offspring. Do this without being reminded and NEVER do it in my presence. (It creeps me out!)
4. Ensure that appropriate amounts of wine are available AT ALL TIMES. In addition, Big Yankee will not be embarrassed to purchase
5. It is highly recommended that he change every light bulb, dust every ceiling fan, kill every insect, clean up kid puke, clean turtle habitats and attend to icky tasks which repulse me.
6. Big Yankee should let me sleep in at least once per weekend. He and the kids should QUIETLY leave the house so as not to disturb my restful slumber. He should leave me two Krispy Kreme chocolate iced Kreme filled doughnuts and a cold coke.
7. Laughing, hugging, kissing, flirting with wife should occur frequently.
8. He should hang towels on the designated hook or rack. Tossing over a door, piece of furniture or leaving in a pile on the floor will result in non performance of wifely duties.
9. Big Yankee should perfect the fine art of listening to a venting wife. Offering solutions and/or criticizing or anything of that nature is strongly forbidden.
10. Love me always and forever.