Monday, May 21, 2012

Ten Things Big Yankee Should Do

**I haven't seen Big Yankee (aka husband )for 51 days but he arrives tomorrow and our nearly 18 month commuter marriage will soon be a thing of the past. Living together again will be an adjustment for us all, but Stasha's Monday Listicles provides the perfect opportunity for me to share some ideas with my tall, dark and handsome Yankee.


1.  Big Yankee should accept my limitations in regards to maps and directions. When I call in a panic because I'm lost or can't get somewhere he will say "It's okay Sweetie. I know this stresses you out so I'll stay on the phone with you the entire time and tell you each thing step by step. I promise NEVER to say things such as North, South, East and West."




2.  I strongly encourage him to surprise me by planning date nights...making reservations, letting me chose the movie, securing a babysitter.


3.  He should ALWAYS ALWAYS take complete responsibility for clipping fingernails and toenails of all our offspring. Do this without being reminded and NEVER do it in my presence. (It creeps me out!)








4. Ensure that appropriate amounts of wine are available AT ALL TIMES. In addition, Big Yankee will not be embarrassed to purchase a case multiple bottle of Flip Flop or any girly wine that his sweet, devoted wife desires. He will NEVER purchase a bottle of Bitch unless he was given explicit directions to do so.





5. It is highly recommended that he change every light bulb, dust every ceiling fan, kill every insect, clean up kid puke, clean turtle habitats and attend to icky tasks which repulse me.


6. Big Yankee should let me sleep in at least once per weekend. He and the kids should QUIETLY leave the house so as not to disturb my restful slumber. He should leave me two  Krispy Kreme chocolate iced Kreme filled doughnuts and a cold coke.










7. Laughing, hugging, kissing, flirting with wife should occur frequently.


8. He should hang towels on the designated hook or rack. Tossing over a door, piece of furniture or leaving in a pile on the floor will result in non performance of wifely duties.


9. Big Yankee should perfect the fine art of listening to a venting wife. Offering solutions and/or criticizing or anything of that nature is strongly forbidden.


10.  Love me always and forever.

24 comments:

Stasha said...

I have a feeling Big Yankee will exceed or at least meet your expectations. Except cleaning the turtle. Don't task men with that, they finding flushing easier.
So happy you are back together under one roof!!

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

Great list. Glad the difficulties of this move are balanced with the end of the "commuter marriage" lifestyle. :) Ellen

Terri Sonoda said...

LMAO at number one! I am sooo directionally challenged. And I LOVED number 4. Bitch Wine? I want some!

@dkotucker said...

Love, LOVE your list!!! Ouuuu...Krispy Kreme! My mouth is watering.

SouthMainMuse said...

Wow. Glad you and Big Yankee are going to be under the same roof for a while. And I agree with all -- especially the sleeping in one day a weekend. And cleaning up the vomit. I don't think mine has ever done that.

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

This was great all the way from the finger and toe nail clippings to the Krispy Kreme (that is my all time favorite doughnut) to the flirting to the love me always and forever! So happy this is all over and you will all be under one roof! You all deserve a wonderful summer!!

Yoli N. said...

Cleaning ceiling tiles an drilling bugs... those are my husband's jobs!

Jackie said...

Welcome home Big Yankee! I am directionally challenged as well Robbie. My hubs is great at helping me navigate this big bad world, step by step with directions like, "See that big yellow building, turn right there".

Jen at Kvetch Mom said...

Love this! I bet Big Yankee is happy to be with his beloved, directionally challenged huggy wife. xoxo

RoryBore said...

Oh my.....love #1!!! my husband is sooo amazing with directions. seriously, you could drive him hours away, drop him in the woods with a glow stick, and he'd find his way home no problem. probably by dinner. I still don't know which way north is if I am standing in my front yard.
He also buys me my strawberry wine without complaint. although he will never share a glass. gotta say, not bothered by that.
the first 2 years of a our relationship was a long distance one, so I am very happy that soon you will be together again!

Robbie K said...

Thanks..we are so glad to be nearing the end of the tunnel!

Robbie K said...

It will certainly be a re-adjustment but one we are both thrilled to be making.

Robbie K said...

So we could get drunk and get lost together? I am SO there....well once I find you...which might take awhile. :)

Robbie K said...

Big Yankee actually use to drive 1 hour roundtrip every Sunday to get us Krispy Kreme donuts. Who wouldn't love a man who does that?

Robbie K said...

When kids were little we took turns sleeping in and it was wonderful. Even though my kids area bit older now I would love to sleep in & wake up in a quiet, empty house.

Robbie K said...

Thanks and i'm glad we share a favorite doughnut. I always knew I liked you :)

looking forward to a summer of adventure together.

Robbie K said...

I'm not very tall & scared of heights so he gets those jobs.

Robbie K said...

Maybe I could borrow your husband...just for directions b/c that is EXACTLY how I need them.

I use to call my neighbor's husband to give me directions to my hair salon b/c we went to the same place and he worked across the street from it.

Robbie K said...

awww you are so sweet. :)

Robbie K said...

I am lol @ the glo stick. I finally mastered north a few years ago..but only from my front yard and only b/c I know my parents live a few hours south of here and I actually know how to get to there house.

Glad to meet another long distancer as well.

Bridget said...

I would like to second all but #6. I prefer Dunkin' Donuts, glazed and a latte. :)

AudreyN said...

Yay! Glad to hear he will be home for a while! I wish we could sleep in, but neither of us seem to do it, even though we want to!

Robbie K said...

What you like Dunkin' Donuts?? How can this be?

Robbie K said...

I don't know if it's cuz I'm getting older or getting use to it but it is extremely hard to sleep in any more.