Absurd

Stasha and her magical Monday Listicles are the reason I can face the kick-off to my work week. Today's topic is

Ten Things I Find Utterly Absurd:


1. Coordinating mother daughter outfits. Every single day.

2. Mom-petition.

3. Mini coke cans. Adorable? Hell yes! Practical? Hell no. That is barely a swallow.

4. Second grade homework-excessive amounts and pointless.

5. Barefoot running shoes. I am not a runner and I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

6. Candy corn.

7. The amount of time and energy I spent on Pinterest.

8. People who sleep without a fan on.

9. Parents who provide alcohol for their underage children.

10. Rude, ranty people.

What would be on your list?

Listicles: Costume Edition

It comes as no surprise to anyone that I am a procrastinator. Less than six hours left of Monday Tuesday and I am just sitting down to write my Monday Listicles. I had grand plans for this list. I really did. But I also have commitment issues and could not decide which way to take this list. 

I considered taking a stroll down memory lane and posting pictures of my kids from Halloween's past. That ain't gonna happen. Most of my digital prints are trapped in our former desktop, and pre digital pictures are in the room formerly known as mine at my parents house. 

Next I decided I would post pictures of the top ten fabulous costumes at the Halloween party we attended yesterday. And then I remembered that would take some planning. Something I put off doing over and over and over again. I ended up doing a hodge-podge post and am sharing some I found on the ever popular internet and some we wore.

1. Pinata toddler

source: costume works

2. As a child of the 80s I LOVE this one!

source: sfgate

3. Thanks to the miracles of modern technology I pretty much NEVER watch commercials but I do love me some Flo.

source: club chica circle

4. Past her prime Hooters Waitress

source: weebly.com

5, 6, & 7.

Halloween 2011 Fireman, Hippie and Secret Service Agent

8. Junk in the trunk---hilarious!!

source: latimes

9. Come on down! You're the next contestant!

10. My first costume party as an adult was Sunday. This is my post party photo shoot. My hair had fallen quite a bit by this point. I was quite flattered and amused when asked where I got my wig.

Fall Love

When Stasha asked us to list Fall must haves I got a little nervous. I am very quick to think of things I DON'T like about fall (pumpkin flavored anything tops my list) but putting a positive spin on things is a bit more of a challenge. This is also our first fall in the land of potatoes and cheese and I am not quite sure what to expect.


1. My Award winning Chili
I won a chili contest once and I will NEVER let anyone forget it. I also LOST a chili contest which will never be forgotten and is a story that must be rehashed every SINGLE TIME the word chili is mentioned. I started to share but here but it became a blog post of it's own. You'll thank me now for stopping.


2. MY BIRTHDAY!!
I've always loved my birthday and September 23 is the kick-off to fall. And sock monkeys are always awesome.

Bake Me a Cake Carly

3. Cool, windy nights
I love sleeping with the windows open and snuggling under 
mountains of blankets.

4. Fleece pajama pants
I am hot. ALL. THE. TIME. But with the cooler weather I can at least sport my fleece pajama pants for a few hours before I put on my shorts and climb into bed.

5. Breathtaking views

Walks along the canyon where I enjoy this view (though it also scares the h#?! outta me). 

6. Crunchy leaves

7. Pumpkin Patch Pilgrimages

8. Reese's peanut butter cups are THE best Halloween candy on the planet.

9. Hat wearing weather
Though I'm always hot my ears are often cold on my morning walks. It's no surprise that my favorite ear warmer is a sock monkey hat is it?

10. Pumpkin seeds
 Toasted with garlic and plenty of other seasonings.

Home on the Range

While you are reading this I will be on a jet plane en route to Orlando. It's a training for work but I'm pretending it's a birthday getaway. My birthday was yesterday so it only makes sense, right?

 Stasha aka Listmaster Extrodinaire wants to know ten things in my home. 

1. This. Full of legos. And they don't all fit.

2. People I love

3. Birthday cake-for me of course!!

4. Overdue library books on a bookshelf in the dining room.

5. MIL to help entertain and wrangle children during my absence this week.

6. One sleeping StinkBug

7.  A half packed suitcase.

8. Canopy bed I dreamed about for many years.

9. Memories.

10. Max the giant sock monkey

Strapping on the Feedbag

I love a good party and a dinner party is even better. Of course, I'd have a staff to clean and serve for me. And Stacy and Clinton will take me shopping for the perfect outfit. It goes without saying that I'll have sassy hair and exsquisite make-up.There will be tons of great appetizers and the wine will flow freely. Stasha asked us to invite ten people dead or alive (Bon Jovi anyone) to dine with us. The following folks should be looking for their e-vite.

Amy Pohler and I are both Libras. In high school I worked at Parks and Recreation and she stars in the show Parks and Recreation. Exactly the same. Her parents are teachers as are mine. Ok, I'll 'fess up-we're really sisters and mom made me invite her.

Ellen invited me to a taping of her show back when I lived in California and she is constantly harassing me to invite her to one of my infamous dinner parties. I'm not letting her inside until she hands over my free t-shirt.

Will Ferrell because someone has to say grace a la Talladega Nights.

Steve Carrell will bring the funny and some copier paper because my copier paper supply is dangerously low.

Tanya Tucker will beg me to sing a duet of Delta Dawn with her. Guaranteed.

Tina Fey will cause me to spew out my wine...hopefully not in anyone's face!

Larry David because Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I don't care how old he is-George Strait still gives me the screaming thigh sweats.

Eric Stonestreet AKA Cam from Modern Family will be the perfect guest.

Christina Applegate is a hoot and adorable too!

Who would belly up to the table at your ultimate dinner party?

Most Annoying Sounds

It's Monday Listicles time again! Stasha asked us to list the most annoying sounds which was an easy list since there are many that push me over the edge.




1. Fingernails or toenails being clipped. I seriously have to leave the room when this is going on.


2. Loud cell phone talkers in public.


3. Shrill beep of a smoke alarm with a low battery.


4. Children (all children not just mine!) tattling on each other.


5. People with a hacking smoker's cough who are trying to light up a cigarette


6. Teeth licking. Those people who constantly run their tongue across their top teeth deserve a special place in the fiery pits.


7.Tongue clacking-especially when the evil offender is within close range.


8. Loud eaters this includes slurping, smacking, gnawing, etc.


9. Water dripping-especially when I'm trying to sleep.


10. Any and all noises which prevent me from sleeping or which wake me up.

Birthdays

I was thrilled (ok I was downright giddy with excitement) when Stasha asked me to be H.M.F.I.C.O.L. (Head Mother Fabulous In Charge of Listicles) this week. My firecracker of a daughter turned nine and in her honor I asked people to write about birthdays. I'm sure when I came up with the topic I had a plethora of fabulous ideas...all of which escape me now. So I'll just share random memories and thoughts on birthdays.


1. My 18th birthday-I was a pseudo freshmen in college. At the last minute I decided not to go away to school as planned. At the last, last minute I applied and enrolled in 10 hours at our local university. I was living at home & working for the school district which often meant I was back at my high school where I graduated from three months before. I wasn't really sure where I belonged. Some of my best friends planned a celebration but since several of them were still seventeen we couldn't go to any clubs. I don't remember what we did all night but it ended with us eating a cake/pie at a park around midnight. There are plenty of hysterically, embarrassing photos which cannot be found at this time.

2. My 23rd birthday Once upon a time my birthday celebration lasted for a month...and what a month it was! To say I was a recognition whore would be an understatement. Everyone around me did everything I wanted (or at least that's how I remember it). This was the year my friends threw a keg party and used my bra as the party invitation. They selected my prettiest over the shoulder boulder holder, cruised on down to Kinko's (this was during the pre-home computer era) and made color copies with the words "Let it all hang out at Robbie's 23rd birthday bash." I made many new friends that year.

3. My 30th birthday By some miracle, Big Yankee was able to take time off for my birthday-not an easy feat for a sports editor during football season. We went to Laughlin Nevada to hear one of my favorite country music legends in concert-TANYA TUCKER. Ten months later my belated birthday present arrived when Einstein made his debut.

4. Peanut's 1st birthday My parents drove twenty hours to be at their only granddaughter's celebration. Big Yankee baked and decorated an adorable ladybug birthday cake. All her daycare friends were there to celebrate. Big Yankee and I had a weekend getaway to Vegas planned...our first trip alone in two years.Three days later we got the call that my grandmother had died and we scrambled to coordinate travel from California to New York.


5. My 40th birthday I had taken the day off and Big Yankee and I went to lunch somewhere that I don't recall. I was at Target feeling pathetic for buying Clairol Nice N' Easy to cover my rapidly increasing gray hair when Big Yankee's cell phone rang. He was told he didn't get a job we thought should have been his. Twenty two days later he resigned a dreadful job and accepted one out of state. And that was the beginning of our commuter marriage and our fractured family.


6.Stinkbug's 4th birthday  A few days earlier my dad had gone to the ER with an upper respiratory infection and was admitted as a precaution. I took some time off work to go down and visit him. things went from bad to worse. He ended up in the ICU and we thought we were going to lose him. Big Yankee was out of state on a business trip and I was a basketcase. Dad insisted we go ahead with the birthday party and on our way out of town we stopped at the hospital so he could give StinkBug his present. A year and a half later my boy still talks about this in great detail. Dad was released a few days later.

7. I am very much against passing out a cheap bag of crap as a party favor. My kids detest the term goody bag. I am not opposed to giving away a token of thanks though. One year we gave out bug books thanks to my Scholastic Book Club Bonus points. Another year it was glow stick bracelets and bubbles....which can be used up and tossed out without drama.

8. As a kid I always requested a spice cake with coffee frosting which is rather odd because as an adult I ONLY eat chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and the mere smell of coffee disgusts me.

9. Growing up we only had "friend" birthdays every other year and we were allowed to invite our age plus 1. When I turned six I had seven guests. On the years we didn't have a friend party the birthday kid got to choose where to go out to eat. We NEVER went out to eat or had fast food. One year I chose Red Lobster and my brother and sister threw a huge fit so Dad took them to the Golden Arches and I had all you can eat seafood.

10. When Einstein was 2 1/2 he INSISTED we make a porcupine birthday cake for Big Yankee..except he kept calling it a pinecone cake. I am a reader of recipe books and Einstein loved to imitate me and became obsessed with a cake book I had.

Thanks

I don't remember exactly how I found Stasha and her fabulous Monday Listicles but I do remember feeling right at home when I linked up that first time. It was like I found my people! I love discovering new bloggers to follow and seeing familiar faces as well. I love how interactive it is with different folks choosing topics each week. I love the diversity in our lists. We might all be writing on the same topic but everyone puts their own spin on things.

This week our topic is THANKS and I'm dedicating it to my parents.

1. Thanks for teaching me the importance of a strong work ethic through your actions.

2. Thanks for not telling me what to do and allowing me to earn from my mistakes. And for not saying "I told you so."

3. Thanks for picking me up, dusting me off and shoving me back out there.

4. Thanks for teaching me the importance of extended family and driving 1400+ miles twice a year so we could visit your parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. I'm sure cross country travel with three obnoxious kids pre-portable electronics wasn't your idea of fun.

5. Thanks for being the most amazing, engaging, loving, dedicated, hands-on grandparents to my three monkeys.

6. Thanks for showing us how important we were by leading our Scouts, coaching our teams, volunteering at our schools, driving us to lessons, and BEING THERE.

7. Thanks for showing me what life long friendships look like.

8. Thanks for showing me how to stand up for myself without trampling on others.

9. Thanks for passing on your passions for learning and teaching.

10. Thanks for your constant support and love.

One last photo before we move 1300+ miles away

Guess what, guess what, guess what!! Give up? Stasha asked ME  to chose next week's topic. This means I'm the H.M.F.I.C.O.L..for all you none military types it means I'm the Head Mother Fabulous In Charge Of Listicles! I'm honored to accept this mission. And since my one and only daughter is turning nine this week the topic is BIRTHDAYS!

Monday Listicles Random

It's time for Monday Listicles with Stasha and she asked us a bunch of random questions this week.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23 and find line 4.
**A fisherman passing though (one of Einstein's fishing books from the library.

2. How many times a day do you say Hi?
**Varies by day but I would guess 5-50 times per day.

3. Have you ever worn a uniform?
**I had various summer jobs that required a solid color t-shirt with the organizations name screen printed on it.

4. What do you think about the most?
**family & friends

5. How many keys do you have on your key ring?
**Too many (13 to be exact) but it makes them easier to find in my giant purse o'junk.

6. What was the last thing you bought?
**storage system from Target for boy's room

7. Are you growing anything these days?
**My hair is longer than it's been since my mid 20s!

8. What is under your bed?
**NOTHING!

9. What is most important in your life?
**Family and friends

10. What is the strangest word you've used this week?
**duck poop?