Thursday, February 16, 2012

Life Lessons from a Smoke Alarm

For those of you just showing up, my smoke alarm has caused me extensive physical and emotional trauma. You can read about it here.



Things I learned From My Smoke Alarm




- The shrill beep of the low battery alert will NEVER. EVER stop. It will beep every 2 minutes. FOREVER.

-If you put out a plea for help on BitchSlap FaceBook you will get some clever, smart ass comments and an offer to loan you an extension ladder. No one will actually offer to help you.

-The shrill beep EVERY TWO MINUTES for 20 days in a row will cause you to think you are a superhero who can conquer your deadly fear of heights. You won't be able to set foot on the ladder.

-The friend code where people  MAKE their husband/boyfriend/booty call/brother/tall person help you because you are skerrit of heights and your tall husband lives 1231 miles away. Yeah apparently it doesn't exist for anyone who lives close enough to help.

-The fact that no one will help you will cause you to break down in tears on day #14. You will feel alone, angry, desperate.

-From here on out the location of the smoke alarm and the height of the ceilings will be a deciding factor in home buying.

- My daddy will always take care of me. My 71 year old dad drove 4 hours round trip and climbed a huge ladder to change the battery. He also changed every smoke alarm battery in the house that required anything more than my trusty step stool.


14 comments:

Sara S said...

Such a sweet dad! I don't think I could survive not being close to my family, my brother is ALWAYS helping me out. Heck when I was pregnant I barricaded myself in my room and called my brother because there was a bug in the hallway! Ha! Sorry you had to deal with the stupid smoke alarm!

DOT said...

I HATE THAT BEEP!!! SO annoying. Thank goodness our ceilings are low enough to reach on a chair. I have a fear of all bugs much like your fear of heights so can totally relate. Gotta love your dad!

Robbie K said...

I am lol at the image in my head of you barricaded in your room :)
It sucks not having family or friends-that will help-close by!

Robbie K said...

That beep drove me to madness! I managed to change a few batteries-the ones I could reach with a step ladder. I am a Daddy's girl for sure!

kvetchmom said...

Oh my goodness, I LOVE your dad. What an awesome man. Now, we need to find you a local handyman! You shouldn't have to go through that again. Ever.

Jennifer said...

What a sweet dad! We had the smoke detector problem a few months ago and it was just like a story from a sitcom. We thought we found which one was beeping, changed it's batteries and than a few hours later, the beeping started again. We ended up changing the batteries in them all just in case. And, we listened to the chirp for at least a week before it was corrected.

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I love your daddy!! How lucky are you?! Hey, just thought of something...you should add on "fresh batteries in the smoke alarms" into the listing of your house. It would work for me! No one wants to hear that beep!!

jennie jackson said...

Heck if you lived in the Bay Area I'd do it for you! Papa deserves a hug!

Leighannn said...

Oh you have a fantastic father!!!
What a sweet man.

Robbie K said...

Yes my dad is the BEST!

Robbie K said...

Thanks for the offer..if I ever move to the West Coast I will have you replace my smoke alarm batteries!

Robbie K said...

lol! We actually had a few showings during the incessant beeping stage...I just left a note for the agent pretending like it had JUST started as I was on my way out the door.

Robbie K said...

He is a sweet dad! That is hilarious hat is still beeped despite new batteries.

Robbie K said...

The few ppl I could think of who are NICE enough to help me out are too short. I even offered to pay a friend's brother to do it and he said no. She's right her brother is an asshole.