By summer it will have been 19 months since we lived together as a family. I am not sure I remember how to do that. To be a partner. To share responsibility. To compromise. I am the one who has been in the parenting trenches these last months. Big Yankee and I discuss situations and concerns but ultimately I am the one who has to take action. So many of the choices I make are based on our situation. So much of our daily lives would be completely different if there were two parents here. I feel trapped by our situation. Many times the choice is..we don't have one. THIS is the only way it can be. I am only one person and there is only one way to get it done. It's not the best way but it's the only way for now.
Living together again and giving up what has essentially been complete and total control is going to be a different kind of hard. I hope I can remember how to give and take. I hope I can remember that just because it isn't how I would do it doesn't make it the wrong way. I hope we can find our footing again. I hope Big Yankee can be patient with me.