By summer it will have been 19 months since we lived together as a family. I am not sure I remember how to do that. To be a partner. To share responsibility. To compromise. I am the one who has been in the parenting trenches these last months. Big Yankee and I discuss situations and concerns but ultimately I am the one who has to take action. So many of the choices I make are based on our situation. So much of our daily lives would be completely different if there were two parents here. I feel trapped by our situation. Many times the choice is..we don't have one. THIS is the only way it can be. I am only one person and there is only one way to get it done. It's not the best way but it's the only way for now.
Living together again and giving up what has essentially been complete and total control is going to be a different kind of hard. I hope I can remember how to give and take. I hope I can remember that just because it isn't how I would do it doesn't make it the wrong way. I hope we can find our footing again. I hope Big Yankee can be patient with me.
10 comments:
Oh wow...19 months is a long time.
But just think how new things are gonna be again!! I bet you surprised yourself and find it's like a comfortable pair of shoes you're really glad you found again.
=)
Big Yankee loves you and he understands what this has been like for all of you. You'll have an adjustment period but your hearts will be beating as one immediately. Everything else will catch up.
Sounds like it will be a big adjustment, but being prepared for that is a good first step. I remember when my husband and I were first married, he was still finishing up his masters at a college four hours away, so he came and went a lot. I got upset that he moved something in the kitchen, maybe (I honestly don't remember now) and burst in on his shower, demanding to know where he'd put it. "Stop moving things!" I shouted at him.
"I live here, too," he reminded me.
"No, you don't. This is my place and you're messing it up!" I stomped.
We ended up laughing, but it was hard to transition from living apart to living together sometimes to living together all the time. So as long as you don't burst into his shower stomping and shouting, you'll probably be fine. : )
Best of luck with this. Sounds like a big step but I'm sure you will all be fine :)
We had a weekend marriage for 7 months which had it's own challenges but at least we were able to see him often.
I like thinking how new things will be again...thanks for that.
Thanks for your support...I got all teary eyed reading your comment :)
Glad you survived the transition and thanks for the laugh! I will don my best not to stomp into the shower but I can't make any promises.
Thanks Maureen.
Knowing that it will be an adjustment is a huge step towards making the transition! My husband spends much of his work away from home - weeks at a time. It is always difficult adjusting from the one parent routine to two -but you will get there. Take it slow and talk about it...A LOT! It is wonderful that you will all be together again.
Glad you'll all be back together. Its own challenges, but hopefully easier!
Post a Comment