Best Day Ever

Sunday was PERFECT. The birds were chirping, the world covered in rainbows, unicorns were galloping among the marshmallow fluff clouds and Hereshey's special dark chocolates were cascading from the magnificent blue sky and landing directly in my mouth.

When I woke up on Sunday morning Peanut was making her bed and Einstein was scrubbing the walls. My first thought,"who the hell are these people and can I keep them?"

Getting the house perfectly staged for a showing took mere minutes instead of the hours I had planned. The children were clean, cooperative and ready to go when the time came. We decided to eat lunch at Olive Garden (thanks to the generous gift card corporate sent me after our hellacious dining experience on StinkBug's 5th birthday).

The parking lot was practically vacant and we thought it might not be open yet. We were heathens trying to beat the after church enthusiasts. The friendly hostess led us to a booth in a prime location and StinkBug was in awe of the nearby fireplace. The food was mouthwatering, the service was impeccable. The actors playing my unruly, sarcastic, children were Oscar worthy performers. We skipped to the van hand in hand, as if we were romping through the Austria in the Sound of Music. Tears well up in my eyes at the memory of such bliss.

We arrived home and they played together...fishing in the pond, weaving a basket with vines found in the Hidden Valley (not the ranch dressing). There was something involving a tree that I probably should have paid more attention to. This would come back to haunt me later.

After romping in the great outdoors for a few hours we loaded up and headed to see The Lorax. There was no line for tickets, plenty of seating and the $17 #2 combo was a mere $6. WINNING again! As we drove home, reenacting our favorite movie lines, Einstein pointed out Baskin Robbins.

If you know me at all, you know that Baskin Robbins Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream is my ecstasy with a little pink spoon. I may have gotten a little caught up in all the "it's the BEST DAY EVER!" declarations. I may have become addicted to the recognition. I may have been blinded by the ice cream. All I know is I slammed on the brakes and whipped into a parking space like a Nascar driver during a pit stop.

All of this perfection came to a screeching halt at 11:47 pm when I was jolted from my sleep by the sounds of a gagging, puking child. Racing down the hall to their rooms I skidded to a halt when the stench directed me to pick door # 1. Einstein was perched on the top bunk with his lanky legs hanging over the railings as vomit spewed across the room. Clearly, he was still half asleep as I shoved a bowl in front of him to catch the flying chunks of our perfect day.

After cleaning him (and the chunks) up and starting a load of laundry I stumbled back to bed, hoping to find sleep once more. I slept in 30 minute increments and stumbled down the hall to bring him a cold washcloth and check for flying chunks.

I was in a deep slumber..drool and all at 5 am.

 "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. MOMMY!" She whisper yells as she takes the pillow off my head.

"My hand was itching and itching so I scratched and scratched and it still itched so I went to the bathroom and I have bumps all over me."

I bolted up once more and staggered to the bathroom to get a closer look. Underneath her green monkey footed pajamas, Peanut was COVERED in a rash of round red welts.

"Maybe I shouldn't have drank the water from that tree? Do you think I could be allergic to it?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" (My mom of the year response)

"You know, me and Einstein extracted some water from that birch tree in the front yard and I drank it."

I told you that tree thing would come back to haunt me.